Monday, 28 January 2013

Letters from victims

My name is D.(34), recently separated man with two kids and dog and all the rest. I want to thank Amen for keeping me sane, safe and alive through the hardest part of my life to date. When I came through the doors of Amen I was a broken man, I could see no future or happiness or light at the end of the tunnel, the girls in Amen changed that almost immediately. They listened to my sorry story with real sympathy and respect and began to guide me through the processes I needed to get back on my feet, some of the things they had to learn with me, so for the next poor bloke coming through he will get there even quicker. Not knowing what to do didn't stop them finding out and getting me there, they didn't give up on me like every other organisation on an almost daily basis. Every time I came back to there office worn down by "NO" or  "We can't help you"  or some other rubbish they found a way through for me.

I am only starting on my journey of single life and child access and all the other wonderful stuff I have to deal with but I would be nowhere without the help and honest concern of Amen and there wonderful staff. I have my own apartment with an extra room for my children to visit, I cook, clean and would you believe even wash my own clothes, this to most people might sound ridiculous but when you have never had to do any of these things they are a big deal. I know I can get through anything that's thrown at me now, before the support of Amen I don't think I would have coped, and that is no exaggeration.

Thank God there was somewhere for me to go and for other men in my situation, heaven knows what the alternative would be.




  1. I am in a similar situtaion myself and I just do not understand why more people are not talking about men and abuse. It is happening everywhere. The people of this country need to start accepting this and not have us men living in fear of being laughed at. Tom

  2. I was like this a few years ago too. I didn't even know that there were people that would help me. My sister found the details for Amen. They are very helpful. Thank God I nearly have my situation sorted out now. I just can't get my head around the grief I got from the authorities and nobody really believed me. It was so awful. I just want to get on with my life now and enjoy my kids. They grow up so fast and I missed out on a lot of time with them because of the horrible stuff their mother said. But you just have to be strong and stick with it. I wish more men would look for help.

  3. Hi there. My brother is being abused at the moment by his girlfriend and a lot of what I am reading on this website is similar to what he is discussing. What should he do? He is talking to me about it, but refuses to look for help from any outsider, he is terrified. Most of the abuse is mental but there have been a couple of occasions where she got pysical. We are so worried about him.

  4. Emma, tell your brother to contact Amen. They will be able to give him sound advice. Maybe you could ring them first or something. Just make sure he keeps talking to you. Thats the mistake I did. I didn't tell anyone for years.